The following are just tired, overdone clichés for unimaginative ENTPs:
“I’m so random! Onion! Global warming! Corruption! Amoeba! Interstate highways! Metaphysics! Language!” – the mere act of flitting from thing to thing does not make you an interesting person.
“I have a habit of starting things without fini” – haha, this is funny because you didn’t finish the sentence, right? So original!
“Article on procrastination? I’ll read it later.” Everybody has heard this joke. Put in a little more effort. Maybe try engaging with the subject matter?
“I’m an asshole, but I’m an honest, so it’s okay.” That’s a very low bar to set for yourself.